Deborah Chesser, MEd, LPC Candidate

by Debbie Chesser, LPC Candidate

Grudge. Have you seen that movie? Oh my, it is an awfully scary movie. I don’t think I will ever forget that scary character of the girl who crawls out at the movie screen with that hair hanging in her face! It is a simple yet frightening image. The bottom line is that a grudge can come back to haunt us. Webster’s dictionary says it is a “deep seated resentment toward someone”. If you are walking around with feelings of resentment toward someone, you are carrying a load you don’t have to bear. It isn’t healthy. Feelings of resentment, anger and unforgiveness can cause all kinds of physical problems ranging from high blood pressure to ulcers. The undue stress from shattered relationships can cause anxiety and depression. Any way you look at it you are doing yourself a huge favor by letting go of all those things you have pent up against someone. You don’t want to be carrying that load anymore. It’s weighing you down, causing you pain and depression. It will never end; in fact it will only grow bigger with time. Think of carrying a grudge, anger over being wronged, hurt or pain as a load you can’t possibly carry yourself. So you pile it up in a heap and carry it around in a wheel barrow or a backpack. The load is enormous and the weight of it bears down on you day after day. Now if you have ever had to move a wheel barrow full of dirt from one spot to another, you know that the going can be rough. You push and push and try to stay out of the ruts that make moving impossible. Afterward your back aches, your legs ache and your arms ache. Let’s just face it, your whole body is killing you from trying to move that load. We have all seen children carry backpacks full of books that weigh them down and make them lean a little. The overloading of a backpack can lead to spinal damage if the load is not carried correctly. All that mess you are carrying around is causing you more pain than it is worth. Who really benefits from the act of forgiveness? Releasing the pain benefits YOU more than anyone. Give it away, get professional help and free yourself from that burden. Talk about a weight being lifted off your shoulders!